Everyone halt for……THE FRIIIENDZOOONE (cuz you’re a moron)

I’ve seen this meme go around facebook for quite some time, and I felt that in my absolute wisdom I would share it…..along with why you’re a fucking moron for believing it.

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Brotip #1,000,000 Men, get a fucking clue

Soooo why is this magically the women’s fault (or the man’s)?  “Where YOU left them?!” How about making that accusatory ‘you’ into a self reflecting one, ya dip shit.

I read over this for a while and came to the realization that this is one of the most selfish, yet ignorant statements made in all of creation.

Have you ever considered that you are the problem, and this “friend” is not the solution?  How many successful men do you see get stuck in the “friend zone?” Might wanna start looking for a girlfriend…or just hire a hooker, ya loser.

Perhaps you’re the idiot who doesn’t have goals or communication skills?

You can be “everything she wants” and still be a friend dorkus…..have you told her how you feel?

It’s kind of like having an expectation for a job.  For everyone who bitches about their job, but doesnt ever go out and look for another one.  How the fuck do you expect to get a job without submitting the application?  What information is on an application?  It specifically says “starting wage” with an implication that they want you to put in an amount.  Maybe it would be wise to at least put “friends with benefits” for starting wage. Sounds like you’re the asshole who put “any.”

Better to be an upfront asshole, than one who bottles up all this emotion (which is your fault to begin with) and not get something out of it.

Perhaps try alcohol?  I heard she likes appletinis!

Perhaps try alcohol? I heard she likes appletinis!

If you’re thinking that you’re a bigger douche for asking directly for sex, think again.  Have you considered the bigger picture?  Let’s designate all of this time to someone who has no idea that you have feelings for them, instead of looking elsewhere and using your time wisely?  Had you just been a douche canoe in the first place, she probably would be eating saltine crackers on your bed and kissing your feet.

On the flipside, if she knows that you’re too vulnerable or stupid to ask for sex and knows she can use you as a cheap psychologist, what the hell do you expect from her?  Have you ever turned down something free?  If it was free, didnt you immediately ask, “what’s the catch?” This catch….is you.

Didnt you know that women like assholes?  “Nice guys finish last” for a reason…it’s because they’re gutless and display absolutely no sense of confidence in themselves or their ability to find a partner. The only women I know that display confidence and arent a debbie downer (naturally) are named “Olga,” have a flattop, and date…other women.  ‘Real’ men find ‘real’ women and share their problems together….

Women are coming to men in the “friend zone” to relay all of their problems.  They share problems with other women mainly because they know that if they dont specify to a man they are venting, we actually want to fix this said “problem” with…..oh my gosh… a solution! So based on deductive reasoning, you’re the boob sitting there listening to all of the problems which makes you a….wait for it… a women!  Yup, a bonafide women that has no self respect for your obvious expectation of sex without saying it.  Better to be a pig than a liar…

Yes i completely believe that you just want to be friends with this person because of her outstanding personality, and you would make them your wife if they let you right?  So when you lead yourself on long enough to get frustrated and give them an ultimatum of “date me or we’re no longer friends,” now who’s the asshole? Secondly, if she has her head on straight, she’s gonna call your bluff, cuz you clearly arent as intelligent as she is.

So you sit there blaming the women that you cant magically “get with,” while the rest of society that has a clue is laughing right in your face.

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